UPS? More like You Pee… Freely… or something…

Dear UPS,

The next time a package comes to me from UPS that isn’t handed directly to me with no additional charges or trouble, I’m refusing shipment.

You attempt delivery, I ask you to hold it so I can pick it up.  You attempt again, I angrily ask you to hold it, as I plan to pick it up the next day.  I go to pick it up, OH LOOK IT’S OUT ON THE FUCKING TRUCK!

And you have the tenacity audacity to charge me $40 for the privilege.

Your service sucks.

Fuck you,

Graham

EDIT: Just to note, this is just the latest time I have been screwed around with by UPS.  I have yet to have a good experience with them.

So… Notice anything new?

Damned straight!  I finally got the new site design finished and up!  I listened to the feedback you gave us, too.

The navigation is primarily the same, but you’ll notice some changes.  For instance, the gravatar of the post author is at the top left, beside the date.  Just below is the author name and the number of comments, followed by category links.  This all used to be (inconveniently) at the bottom of the post.  Now you can tell who wrote the post right away.

How does everyone like the new header?

That’s right, a Critical Ankle Bite is a melee basic attack.  Speaking of which, I have yet to relate that story here.  Odd, considering the site is named after the event.  I should also credit Josh/Daelkyr over at EN World with originally creating the 4e icon font used in the header.

I know some of you may be missing is the Wiggum quotes.  But have no fear, for I did not leave you lacking in this area.  Just hover over the title image (or Gah the gully dwarf in the top left) for the random Wiggum quote.

I may replace these with something else, however.  Lately, around the game table, we’ve been keeping a list of “things that have made Nonnie/Alabaster’s player giggle”…

So yeah.  Change: Scary and confusing.  But also awesome.

I hope you agree.

Comments are welcome.

Decisions, decisions…

I hope everyone had a good holiday, and is having a good 2009 thus far.

If I may, I’d like to make use of the collective knowledge of the interwebs here and ask you all a couple questions, based on my christmas presents.

1)

One of my gifts I recieved was a Crackberry Bold.  I am looking for a good dice roller program for this tiny addictive handheld.  Anybody know of a good one?

2)

I also recieved some gifts to fund my hobby.  Specifically I got

• One free D&D book of my choice (thanks Christine).
• $100 in gift certificates for my FLGS (part of the old layout of which is pictured above, click to go to their website).

So I have some purchasing to do, and I need to decide just what to get.  Most of it will probably be 4e books, though I’m open to other suggestions.

The 4e PHB2 is definitely in that bundle.  Aside from that, though, I’m just not sure.

Manual of the Planes looks nice, but so do Draconomicon and Open Grave.  The Eberron Campaign Setting and Player’s Buide both are on my list of books to get, but they aren’t around until June, and I should be graduated and earning money by then.

Suggestions?  Should I just blow it all on minis?  Has there been any further news of a 4e d20 Modern?

Aside from all that, it’s Christine’s (current DM, other writer, my fiancee) birthday today!  Everybody wish her a happy one!

Story Time – Chicken Mage

In a discussion of encumbrance rules, we got onto how chalk is weightless according to D&D (and I will often buy 200 pieces of chalk at chargen just to wipe out my starting gold and mock the encumbrance system while I’m at it).

And from there, buying senseless cheap animals (guinnea hen, mongoose) in 2e was mentioned.

Well, along those lines is my Chicken Mage.

Essentially the first character I ever made in 3e, using that character builder program from WotC, I decided to make an elf wizard.

And after buying the tiny amount of gear I needed, I had about 10 gp left.

So I tried to find something else to buy, and came across the trade goods tab.  I bought a goat, and spent the rest on chickens.

But these were not useless, pointless chickens.  Oh no.

These chickens were to be used as spell components.

Chicken Mage: “Magic Missile!”

Chicken, being thrown: “Buckaw?” *whap*

CM: “Fireball!”

Chicken: “BUCKAAWWW!!!” *FWOOMF!*

I never got a chance to use the character, however.  We’re still not sure whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

I’ll post more of my insanity in the future, for sure.  How about any of you?  Any crazy character concepts you never got to play and wish you had?  Or did you play them?

There are comments!  Use them!

Whoa…

…they’re rereleasing the Dark Sun novels?

Could this be a sign of what the next WotC campaign setting will be, after Eberron?

We’ll see, I suppose.

Merry Geeksmas – Updated

Or, y’know, whatever holiday you want to celibrate.

But if you really want to geek up your Decemberween rituals, you’ll need appropriate background music.

Like a little horror with your turkey?  Well, you should check out the HP Lovecraft Historical Society’s album A Very Scary Solstice (and the followup album An Even Scarier Solstice), which includes such holiday classics as:

• Death to the World
• Freddy the Red-Brained Mi-Go
• Slay Ride
• It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fish-Men
• and the Elvis hit: Blue Solstice

Or do you prefer your Eggnog with a little shot of 1985 brandy, just for that retro feel?

If so, you may want to check out 8-bit Jesus, a new Christmas chiptune album, with each song done in the style of a different 8-bit era game.

Be sure to listen to “The Legend of Noel” and “Carol of the Belmonts”, my personal favourites from the 9 available thus far.

In site news, we still have two new session logs to go up, but we’re taking a seasonal break from gaming until January, as the next couple weeks are busy for everyone.  New posts will hopefully keep coming, though.  And that site redesign is being worked on now that my computer has returned.

But tonight we need to put up our gorram tree and geek wreath.

EDIT: The 8-bit Jesus album has been updated, and it is now completed.  New link above and here.  You can also get a physical copy now, if you feel like dropping $15 (US) his way.

New favourite songs:

• Bubbles we have heard on Bobble
• Have Yourself a Final Little Fantasy

Scales of War 4 & 5 – Catching up!

Session 4 – Finding Prisoners

Present:

• Alabaster, Tiefling Cleric
• Ralia, Elf Druid
• Rouge, Half-Elf Rogue
• Porth-OS, Warforged Swordmage

Upon returning to the dungeon, the players make their way to the next room, once again choosing the left option. This is a crypt, with skeletons in alcoves along the walls. There is some concern among the group that they will animate and attack, but they don’t. Instead, as the group reach the centre of the room, the door to the north swings open for no apparent reason. Nothing comes through them, but 2 magma claws appear and attack. Apparently, I was unclear in my description here, because there was some confusion about whether the claws or the gnome skulk that also attacked came from the passage. (The gnome was hiding beside the door, and he was the one who opened it.) This fight wasn’t too difficult, for one thing the tiefling cleric was reminded that he has resistance 5 to fire damage.

After the battle, we take a short break to level. Normally, I’d wait until before or after a session, but I knew they had enough XP now, and we all wanted to be out of level 1.

Read more

Changing things up…

Well, you’ve probably all noticed that I (Graham) am not the only one writing here any more.

But it’s difficult to tell just who is writing, isn’t it.

So that, among other reasons, has spurred me to finally redo the site (a task I have been planning since the spring).  But something occurred to me.

I don’t know what all of you like/dislike about the current design!

So comment!  Let me know what parts of the current design you would have to see go, or what parts annoy the hell out of you!

Do you love the Wiggum quotes to death?  The Gah caricature?  Hate the d20 in the title bar or the unfinished “Aboot” section?

All suggestions and comments will be considered.  Some will be laughed at.

Scales of War 2 & 3 – My god, she’s actually writing!

So, yeah… sorry for the delays everybody. As Graham mentioned earlier, real life kinda got away from us for a while. Therefore the goal here is to get caught up before I run yet another session tomorrow.

Session 2 – Getting to the Dungeon

Present: everyone

This session started after the fight with the ogre. The characters got a chance to rest and the next day were invited to speak to a town councilman, Eoffram Troyas. He introduced himself and told the five of them that he summoned the “four of them” (with a look of disgust at the Gully Dwarf ) to ask them a favour. It turned out that during the raid, several townspeople were kidnapped and several of the town’s treasures were stolen (nothing of any monetary value – they were trophies of the Red Hand’s defeat ten years ago and therefore important to both the town and the raiders).

Read more

Holy Hell

The float for the cartoon “Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends” (a pretty awesome show, actually) got Rick Astley to Rickroll the entire fucking Macy’s parade!

Seriously epic.

As a side note, please continue to let me know if you experience any issues with posting comments.  We’ve been having some problems with the captcha lately.